Chernobyl-Chili

In a large microwave container, brown meat, onions, green pepper and garlic for 15 minutes on full power. Drain off and reserve a cup or two of liquid. Break up any remaining large chunks of meat.

Add remaining ingredients except tomato paste and cook on full power for 30 minutes covered. Stir and taste. Cook for 1 hour at 70 percent power, uncovered. Stir and taste at half hour intervals. Add water as necessary.

Add tomato paste and reserved meat liquid. Cook 30 minutes at 60 percent power, uncovered. Stir and taste. The chili is done and can be served directly or decanted into a crock pot to simmer.

Serve with shredded cheddar cheese, tabasco sauce, diced onions, hot chili oil, red pepper flakes and hot dogs with rolls. Your guests can microwave their own hot dogs and top them with chili and cheese!!!

NOTES:

* High-energy microwave chili — Microwaves and chili make a superb match, especially for lazy chili lovers like me. This version is for a mixed crowd. True chili fiends should see the notes at the end. Yield: Serves 8-12.

* For true CHERNOBYL-Class 20 megaton SS-19 chili, double the pepper, chili powder and MSG and add 30 minutes to the cooking. Serve with Pepski.

* People who are worried about MSG, bacon grease or radiation should not be eating chili in the first place.

* Yes, it will make an incredible mess in your microwave oven.

* The most likely things you will need to add at the testing points are salt, sugar, and maybe garlic powder.

* The chili will thicken up in the microwave so be sure to add enough water to keep it soupy until the last phase.

: Difficulty: easy. : Time: 10 minutes preparation, 2-3 hours in microwave. : Precision: approximate measurement OK.

: Jim Houser (JABBA) : Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, Maryland, USA

Your Chernobyl-Chili is ready. Bon appetit!